I've been feeling jealous a lot lately looking at my classmates' Instagram accounts. Of course that is a small part of their lives that they're posting but they always seem to be having more fun than me, not really in the everyday sense I'm quite a happy person, I mean in the social sense, they're more popular. And I know all people have the "I wanna be popular" thing but it really brings me down. I know it's normal to feel this way but since I overthink everything I feel or do I'm always looking back at my feelings and asking why. From therapy I learned to asses my anxious thoughts to see if they were logical or not, I've gotten better and I can "out-logic" a thought but I still feel it. Its annoying, and I want to not care but it's very hard to when you're in High School bc people force their opinions on you about how you look or act no matter what.
I met my teachers (their cool, so farrrr) and I have honors classes and a one academic so that's where I have to worry about bullying or at least teasing or laughing from time to time. I kind of prepare and know whats going to happen when I'm in a academic class, that's where the not so smart people are and those are the people who like to tease me. I've been teased for so long I'm used to it lol. In my honors classes people just wanna do their work mostly so I face teasing much less if at all in those. And the weirdest thing is fellow black people tease me the most, it's always been that way for some reason white people seem to be able to at least wait for you to be out of sight before they start trashing you, and that's what I prefer haha. I know people are going to be mean I would just rather they do it out of my eye line. But anyway I'm jealous and I'm not sure how to get over it but that's all I shall say today...
Oh! And I just downloaded "Great Expectations" on my phone. I LOVE it, I love Dickens. And there's this awesome movie called "Mr.Pip" with Hugh Laurie in it, it's based on the book, watch it if you can! It's a bit of a tearjerker tho!
A gif I made cause why not!? And when ya feelin good, ya feelin good!!!
For your listening pleasure:
(AMAZING)
No comments:
Post a Comment